The Love Shack
by Edwards LoveMonkey
Summary: It's been 5 years since Edward left Bella in the woods. Everyones hiding something and theres more at stake then there ever was before. Will Edward and Bella find there way back to each other? They'll find their answers and more at The Love Shack
1. Chapter 1: FML

Chapter 1: FML  
><em>FUCK. MY. LIFE.<em> That is the only thing running through my head as I go over the books for the tenth time. This day couldn't get any worse. No matter how I try to make sense of the numbers**,** they always come up the same-money is missing. My books never come up short**,** or so I thought, these discrepancies are too large to just be recent**, **and no one messes with my money.

For the past four years, I've run and operated the "Love Shack", a small club in the heart of New Hampshire. Yes, that's really the name of my place**,** and we even have a sign at the side of the road that shows the way to the "Love Shack." Don't let the cheeky name fool you or even the outside, which actually does look like a shack, because what goes on inside is what keeps us packed almost every night.

Inside, you'll find a glass barwith the best, high-end liquor that money can buy, plush booths along the side walls, and more intimate tables throughout. The dance floor is front and center to the stage**,** where we have open mic night for local talent. Every Thursday we host karaoke and throughout the month we have special nights, like ladies night or gay night. The music is diverse and always bumping. We cater to everyone and get people from all walks of life; we make sure to keep things fresh and our customers happy.

Location was key for me when I decided to open up the bar which is why I put it not too far from the school I just graduated from: Dartmouth. Everyone thought I was out of my mind to take on an Ivy League college and open up my own business at the same time. They even took bets- some on me flunking out and others on the bar closing. This past June, I collected two grand from each person because not only does my club rock, but I graduated summa cum laude from one of the most prestigious schools in the country.

I must admit it is nice not to have to juggle my English lit book in one hand and a tray of shots in the other. Busted my ass during those years, and I can honestly say I'm happy with the end product, but now I have to deal with this crap. It's a part of owning a business that I could truly do without, but if I don't do it then it won't get done at all. Someone is stealing from The Shack and for the life of me I can't figure out why. I pay above standard, and the tips that my girls get are for damn sure better than the local Denny's, so why is there a noticeable chunk missing from my bottom line?

Yes, most of my employees are women; it's all about knowing your market. We're in a college town, and boys like their drinks served by hot girls. However the boys know the rules: drool, slobber, and let your eyes pop out their sockets, but nobody walks into The Shack and messes with one of Bellzie Boo's girls. Bellzie Boo was a nickname that was given to me by a good friend of mine, and around the bar that's what everyone calls me. I like it; it's different and holds no ties to my old life, a life I had fought desperately to forget.

I used to be just plain old Bella, but that changed five years ago. I sometimes wonder whatever happened to that quiet young girl that wandered too far into the woods, but then I stop myself because then _he_ comes to mind, and there is just no room for that. I buried her along with the memories of _him. _ Even though there are still times when I will allow my mind and heart to wander back to a time when I was _his,_ I quickly remind myself that he didn't want me. I refuse to pine over someone whose love I could never have. With thoughts of the past and the current blunder before me, I shut down my computer and try to shut off my mind as well. Sal can look over the books later. _I need a break before we open tonight_.

I turn away from my desk and look out the wraparound window behind my desk that overlooks the bar. I watch as everyone gets the place set up. It's a Tuesday at the end of August and students are coming back from their summer break, so we're expecting a decent showing tonight. I never dreamed of all this and never saw my life going this way, but now that I'm here, I can't bring myself to regret where life has brought me and who it's brought into my life. Everything happens for a reason; I don't always agree with this virtue, but it seems to be the one that follows me through life.

I glance over at the clock and see that I need to get my butt in gear and start to get ready before I'm late to work the floor. I step into my private bathroom and get the shower going. One of the smartest things I did during the renovations was put in a full bathroom into my office. Still being in school when we first opened, there were nights that I left out of here only to hop in my car and head off to class. Don't get me wrong, across the hall from my office is a small studio apartment, so I was at least crashing in a bed and not behind my desk. That first year in business was hard as hell, but I made it and even though money has never been high on my list of priorities, I have to admit that success is sweet. Now if I could just figure out which of the two new girls is stealing from me then my life, well at least my work life, would be roses.

I take a few extra minutes for myself as I prepare for tonight because judging by the sounds coming from downstairs, it's going to be a busy night and this might be all the time I have to myself. I try to push out thoughts of thieving employees and also the ways in which my life will be changing in the next six months. It seems like once my life starts to slow down, more crap gets added to the heap. As much as I try and act like these things aren't about to happen, I know sooner rather than later a lot of things are going to come creeping out the closet. At least that isn't something I have to deal with tonight. No, the only thing to deal with is the missing money and after that, drunken college boys. At least the night can't get any worse.

I do some light primping by slipping into my favorite low-rise leather pants, a black "Love Shack" wife beater, and my favorite four-inch boots. I finished off with a light coat of makeup and a short purple wig. The great thing about running a club is that mixing up your look is a must, I just think of it as year-round Halloween. Five years ago, I would've been hiding in the back of my closet if a certain tiny sprite would have given me this outfit to wear, but that girl no longer exists, and this girl doesn't have time to mourn her loss. I've got a bar full of customers, and the night has just begun. With one last glance at myself in the mirror, I give myself a finishing push out the door.

"Well, Bells, it's show time," I say out loud. I leave my office and haunting thoughts behind and head to the main floor. With one glance out into the crowd, I can already tell it's going to be a long night.

~TLS~

One of my best girls is out sick tonight, so instead of working the bar like I usually do, I decide to help out the servers. Being as classes haven't started yet and students are still getting situated, The Shack was beyond packed. My guy at the door has a line that stretches down the block, but from the looks of things, no one else is getting in unless they are at my private table. The table in the far corner closest to the stage is reserved as a "family" table.

Five years ago, not too long after my world was sent upside down, three people came into my life: Sal or Salem, Bernie or Bernadette, and Glory; I couldn't stand them on sight. Don't get me wrong, I love them to death now, but that first meeting almost sent me into a nervous breakdown. Why, you might ask? Well, because they're vampires-vampires that are also connected to my former life. Sal and Carlisle used to live with the Volturi ages ago. Carlisle kind of took him under his wing. Sal, his mate, Bernie, and their "daughter" Glory, are all "vegetarians," and while they don't have close connection any longer to the Cullens, there's still a connection nonetheless. They've shown their loyalty and love for me over the years, and while I wish I could let go of the past and the things that have happened, some scars just seem to run too deep.

I'm grateful that we were able to get past the "connection" because I honestly don't know what I would have done without them. They got me through the darkness and have yet to betray me, but me being me I can't help but wait for the other shoe to drop. Lately they've been acting a little out of sorts. My eyes sweep the club once more to see if I spot them. When I can't locate them, I sneak a peek at my phone and notice it's just after midnight, and they should be arriving soon. I shake myself from my musing and head over to the next table where a group of guys who seem to be new are taking in the atmosphere around them.

"Welcome to The Shack, boys. What can I do for you?" I ask.

"Five of whatever you have on tap and maybe later your number." The words coming from who I believed to be the leader of the moron pack.

It's nothing I haven't heard before, but I wish someone would have an original line for once. I no longer shy away from the attention that seems to come with a bar like this; I've come to accept that people find me attractive. I still have a hard time believing it at times but to each their own. As long as business is good, who am I to complain? I smile as sweetly as I can manage and head back to the bar to grab their beers. After I drop off the drinks to the lovely scholars, I start to make my way through the crowd over to where a group of regulars are situated. It's good to see a familiar face every now and then but not all familiarity is good.

As we stand there chatting about what courses they'll be taking this semester and which ones have decided to change their major yet again, the hairs on the back of my neck seems to stand up all at once. It's like this weird sixth sense, but I knew they were there before I even turned around. I tried to ignore it; God knows I tried, but it's like some master puppeteer was controlling my movements. I have no choice but to look back. The table, that moments ago was empty, is now filled with my past, my present, and one face that I have never seen before but I know it anyway. As I said earlier, _fuck my life_.

Eleven of the most beautiful evil sat in my bar with expressions that ranged from boredom to excitement to apprehension and fear. There were no cool masks on tonight. Everything seemed to be laid out on the table so I do the only thing I can do. I square my shoulders and head across the room with the best smile I can muster. No need to alert the clients to the storm that is brewing around them. I approach the table and make sure that my smile is still in place; I look over at Sal and say the one thing I've been thinking since I saw them.

"What the fuck are they doing here, Sal?" I ask with a snarl.

Looks of shock seem to go across most of the table, and honestly I'd be lying if I didn't say that I was kind of pleased by their reaction. If only they knew that this was just the tip of the iceberg, and the girl they once knew no longer lived inside of me. Sal stares at me and doesn't even attempt to answer my question. Seeing as he's not going to be any help, I turn to Carlisle.

"We had a deal, doc; you weren't suppose to come back until January, yet here you all sit, so unless I fell asleep and missed a few months, you need to start explaining right now," I demand.

"Bella, something's come up and there was no time to wait. We had to come back if there-"he says before I cut him off.

"Well, here's the thing Carlisle, there's this thing, called a phone. You could have called and at least said something, instead of just showing up. You know how delicate this situation is, and you agreed to do things my way. Why in the hell I ever thought I could trust anything that comes out of a Cullen's mouth is beyond me, but I guess I'm the moron for actually thinking your word meant something," I say with the snottiest tone I can manage.

"Excuse me, but should the help really be talking to customers like that? I'm sure your boss wouldn't be too happy to hear how you're treating his guests," Rosalie says, obviously trying to knock me down a peg.

"Rosalie, I don't think you understand-" Carlisle begins to speak, but Rosalie cuts him off before he can finish.

"No, Carlisle. Don't make excuses for her. I think it's high time Ms. High-and-Mighty got taught a lesson," Queen bitch replies with a flick of her hair.

"I would like to speak to the owner immediately," she says smugly. Some people are just too dumb for their own good.

"Well, I guess you finally got me, Rosalie; I'll be right back with the owner," I say then turn like I'm about to leave but turn right back to the table.

While Rosalie is looking at me, annoyed and incredulous, I stick out my hand and say, "Welcome to The Love Shack. I'm Bellzie Boo, owner and operator of this lovely establishment. How can I help you?"

Annoyance is replaced by a look of shock and the shock seems to have passed over each of them, so I assume Sal hasn't told them much of anything. Before Rosalie has a chance to recover, I add, "Blown away are we? Speechless by the awesomeness of my bar? Well, Rose, all I can say to that is 'fuck you very much.'"

I finally drop the smile, and I turn back to Sal and ask the only question that really means anything at this point. "Does Mr. Coppertop know?"

Even after all these years, I can't stand to say his name; the pain that accompanies it is too much. Coppertop is easier because the name itself has no ties to who we once were.

"Despite how you may feel about me right now, I could never do that to you. We're all blocking him. Trust me-he's none too pleased that we're hiding our thoughts," Carlisle says, trying to reassure me.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see the _he_ in reference but I don't let my eyesight linger. Lingering would be bad, and I refuse to allow them to affect me. I turn to the unfamiliar vampire sitting next to _him_ and stretch out my hand.

"Bella Swan, and you must be Tanya, it's nice to finally meet you," I say smoothly although my insides are in knots.

"How did you know who I was?" she asks, the shock is evident in her voice as she shoots me a puzzled look.

"Irina has been very informative. The last time she visited with Carmen and Eleazar, she talked about you. It's nice to put a face to the name," I say. I could hate her, but if she's what he wants, then who am I to stand in the way? According to her _wonderful_ sister, they're perfect for each other and I can see it, but it doesn't make it any easier to see.

"Listen, Bells, I know you're royally pissed at us right now, but we have more important things to deal with. If we can just go up to the office and talk about this like adults, I'm sure-" Sal says.

"No, Sal," I say, cutting him off. I'm doing a lot of cutting off tonight.

"Be reasonable, Bells, this was for your own good," he snaps.

"Don't even try and tell me this was for my own good. You promised. You swore you were so much better than them. That you would never take away my choice in anything, and that's exactly what you've done by keeping me in the dark and by bringing them here. You're no better than _he_ is. Just make sure you leave a flashlight for me when you decide to leave me in the woods," I say before walking away. It's all too much, and the confidence I've built over the years seems to be slipping quickly.

I can't do this; I can't stand here and listen to the bullshit they're selling. I'm in such a rush to get away from that I don't see the body coming right at me until I crash into it. I'm relieved when I look up and see the face of the one constant in my life.

"Jake!" I practically choke out once I look up at him.

"What the fuck is going on here, Bells? and what the hell are they doing here?" he snaps. Just as I'm about to answer him, more relief seems to come.

"Hey, sis, you look like you just saw a ghost," jokes my step-brother Seth Clearwater before continuing. "Seriously, Bells, you're looking really pale even for your standard." I actually manage to smile up at Seth because if you knew him, you'd have a hard time keeping a straight face with him.

"Those fucking leeches are over there, and I'm going to find out why," Jake barks out bitterly. Before I can try and pull Jake toward the bar, he's off to where I've just come from with me and Seth trailing behind him.

"LIAR! Dirty blood sucking liar. I told Bella we couldn't trust a word that came out of your mouth. After everything Bella's been through, for you to do this to her, to do this to E.J, is low, even for one of your kind," Jake says accusingly to Sal, Bernie, and Glory.

My eyes widen and I can't breathe. This is my limit and my mind can't take any more. I know I'm having an anxiety attack. This is all too much, and I can't stop any of this from happening. For the first time in a long time, I am completely powerless. I feel myself tumbling, almost as if I was watching this from someone else's point of view. Just before darkness overtakes me, I hear an all-too-familiar sound: the other shoe dropping. This wasn't how it was suppose to happen, and now there's nothing I can do to stop it. Like I said before, FUCK. MY. LIFE.

~TLS~

I wake to find myself on something plush and my head hurts, but I'd much rather stay here and not open my eyes than have to deal with the crap that's waiting for me.

"Carlisle, maybe we should've waited or at least called her before we showed up like this. She's obviously overwhelmed," the familiar voice of Esme Cullen floats to me.

"Esme, you know we didn't have time for all of that. We needed to move quickly. There are lots of things to consider," Carlisle explains to his wife.

"Can someone please explain why in the hell we are here so that we can get out of here sooner? I thought the point of leaving her in the first place was so we didn't have to see her again," Rosalie says snidely.

"Seriously, Rose, can you for once think of someone else? I love you, but damn woman, there's obviously something going on here, and as shocking as it is, maybe it's more important than you," the booming voice of Emmett responds to her. If I ever decide to speak to the Cullens again, I'm going to get Emmett a really big grizzly for Christmas.

I know they know that I'm awake, but I just keep my eyes shut. Call me immature, but I don't want to talk to them right now. One voice breaks through, the voice of the only constant in my life, and he says the one thing I need to hear to get my butt in gear.

"He doesn't know, Bells. I shut my mouth and thought about something else before he had a chance to know anything," Jake says.

My eyes snap open and take a quick look around. We're in my office, and all I want is to get the hell out of here. I sit up a little too quickly, and my head starts to spin. I shake it off because I need to get home and away from these people. Besides, it's not like I can escape them anymore. I'm pretty sure they'll be staying at the house. Well, at least that's what Carlisle and Esme do whenever they come to visit. I start rummaging through my desk until I find the two sets of keys that I'm looking for. I toss the larger set to Sal.

"You're locking up tonight. I need you to go through the books. Money's missing, so I need you to review each girl's receipts and see what's not adding up. After closing, I have a liquor shipment coming in, and I need you to put everything away. Please don't just throw it in the storage room like you usually do. I guess I'll be seeing all of you back at the house. There's some stuff that needs to be discussed and things that I need to sort through so I need to go," I say before turning to the door.

"Bells, this was never about hurting you or even losing your trust," Bernie says quietly.

"It never is, Bernie, but it just seems to happen. For some reason, everyone seems to know better about what's best for me and my life than I do. No one bothers to include me in the decisions being made," I say, unable to keep the hurt out of my voice. Even if I try to avoid it, old wounds are opened and new ones are beginning to form. It's too much and I need to leave.

I turn back to Jake and motion with my hands toward the back exit that leads to the garage downstairs. Before we have a chance to go, Seth calls out that he's coming with us. I see it in his face that there's something wrong, but it can wait until we're back home. Without so much as a sideways glance, we're out the door and heading to the car. Finally away from the madness and hopefully away from the hurt.


	2. Chapter 2: Our Lips are Sealed

So here is the next part in our story. Some answers are given but there is still so much more that has happened. Thank you so much for everyone that reviewed and I hope that you enjoy the next chapters to come.

Thank you PTB for Betaing this story.

Stephanie owns all things Twilight but I own my blackberry and laptop so I can put down my musings

See you at the bottom

Chapter 2 Our Lips are Sealed

I always knew that this day would come, I knew that it would catch me off guard. I always hoped that I would be wrong, that we could've handled this the way that it was planned. I should know by now to trust my instincts. All I want is to get home, but it seems like tonight my car won't go fast enough. What really has me running away tonight is that damn crackle in the air the moment I knew that Coppertop was around me. It was the same feeling from the day that we met and every moment we spent together. I would've thought that after all this time it wouldn't be there anymore, but it is, and the feeling is stronger than ever. I want to put as much distance between us, as possible.

My car isn't built for more than two people, and it's definitely not built for people that are as big as Jake and Seth, but we have no choice. We have to make due for right now. So I'm sitting in Seth's lap while Jake drives us home. Thankfully, earlier this year I splurged on an Audi R8 and with the speed of my car it doesn't take long before we're driving on the wooded path that leads to the house. When Sal first suggested this house, I was against it; it reminded me too much of a family I had lost. I was reluctant to have a daily reminder of that but in the end, for the type of family that we are, it seemed like the best fit for us all. The one good thing about being this deep into the woods was the amount of land that we had to build on; enough space, in fact, that that I was able to build my own cottage down by the lake that borders our property. For the past four and a half years this place has felt like home- now it just feels like a dark maze that has no exit, and I can't remember how I got here in the first place

Once the car is parked in the garage next to the main house, we head down the pathway that leads to my house. The place that once felt so familiar and safe now just has me wanting to run for the hills. We settle into the overstuffed sofa and for a while none of us speak; we just sit in the silence and try to absorb what has just happened, hoping that perhaps this is some fucked up alternate universe and none of the past hour has really happened. Jake is the first to break the silence.

"We could just leave and go to La Push. I mean, it's not like their kind can follow us down there and if they do, we'll have re-enforcement, so at least we'd all be safe and away from all their lies and bullshit."

"We can't run Jake, and I'm not going to run. I have nothing to fear and they are not going to pull me away from the life that I've built here. If they have an issue, they can leave, but we're staying and were going to deal with this mess," I reply adamantly.

"Fine, but just know that it's an option, if you change your mind," Jake says as he rubs my arm, trying to sooth the tension that's building inside of me.

"I know, Jake, and I love you for it, but we all have lives here, and we all have responsibilities. We can't just relocate our lives. Speaking of which, Seth, what's going on with you? You haven't really said anything since all this started. You're looking kind of sad, like someone kicked your puppy."

"It's just…how could she, you know, like, just go with it and not say anything, not even to me? It's just hurtful that what we have just doesn't mean more to her."

My stepbrother, who always has a smile on his face and something encouraging to say, can't even muster up half a smile. He's hurting and I wish I knew how to make it easier on him.

When we first met Sal and his bunch, Seth imprinted on Glory. Jake and I used to tease him, and say that he would be the one to imprint on a natural enemy, but that's just Seth; he doesn't see the differences, just people. I don't want him hurting because of this; it's my crap to work through, even if I don't particularly care for the family at the moment. This is my issue; it shouldn't be his. He shouldn't have to take on my battle and be in pain because he's not with his one and only. I know that pain and wouldn't wish it on anyone, especially someone as wonderful and kind hearted as Seth.

"Seth, this is my issue. I don't want you hurting because you've decided to try and distance yourself from Glory. Besides, we've been working on your surprise proposal for so long now, are you really willing to just throw everything away because of my fucked up past?"

"But that's just the point, Bells; it's not just about the fact that this all happened. It's about the fact that obviously what her sire says is more important to her than being honest with me. Yes, I know she didn't outright lie, but an omission is still a lie. She knew that we were going to be away these last few days but didn't know we would be back tonight. I feel so stupid; I begged Jake to let us come back a day early so I could surprise her and take her hunting later, but instead, she's pulling the wool over my eyes. Do I really want to marry someone who isn't going to put us first; are we going to have to check with Sal first before we make a decision for ourselves? I'm not going to marry her to come in second to her father-it's not happening." By the end of his speech, Seth is seething and it's a side of him that I've never seen and wish I never had.

"Wow, I never really looked at it like that, but maybe this is something you guys just need to talk about, you know, the cutting of the proverbial cord and such. I mean, I know the sire and sired relationship is really close, but you're right, you should take priority. Just really think about things before you say or do something you might regret and promise that you'll talk to her."

"I'll talk to her, but I'm not promising anything. Maybe it's good that this happened. I mean, not good for you, but at least we can try and deal with this crap now before we're at the altar, if we even make that far."

Even after talking it through, I still see the obvious pain etched in Seth's young face and that hurts, because Seth is one of those people that should never be without a smile on his face. Just like Jake, he's always been there these last few years, even leaving his family and tribe to come out here. I'll never be able to repay them for everything they've done, but for now, I can grab us a couple of beers and give them each a bed for the night.

~TLS~

The guys fall asleep around 3AM, but I can't sleep. I can't will my body to just settle down and give in to the exhaustion. Everything will change later today, and no matter how much I wish I had more time, I know it's not going to happen. There's really only one person that I want to talk to right now, and I decide I have just enough time to call before he heads off to bed. I grab my phone and go to sit on the deck outside my bedroom. The phone rings twice before I hear the all too familiar voice on the other end.

"Did you finish up early at the bar or something Bells?"

"More like I left early. A lot happened tonight, and I just wanted to see how you were doing, Dad."

"Uh huh, well, we're fine over here. Sue's been working down at the station helping out with the filing and stuff. Work's the same as it always is for me, and I'll probably be fishing this weekend while Sue visits Leah. Now that we're all caught up on the fascinating world of Forks, why not tell your old man what's going on," Charlie states flatly.

I never give Charlie enough credit for how perceptive he really is. People assume, since he's a small town cop, that his senses aren't as sharp as a big city cop, and they are dead wrong. The past few years have taught me to appreciate my father, and I'm grateful for how close we've become. No matter what, I always have him in my corner.

"Cutting right to the chase there Chief, no pussy footing around for Forks finest." At my statement, Charlie lets out a very un-Charlie like snort and waits for me to start talking again.

"He's here, Dad."

That's all I need to say, because even though Charlie doesn't know all the technicalities, he knows enough. The silence on the other end of the phone doesn't surprise me, but I wish he would say something, anything. When Charlie does finally speak, his response is not surprising at all.

"I'm pretty sure that with my badge on, I can get my service revolver through security at the airport."

With that I laugh, loudly. I laugh until the tears are streaming down my face and my belly hurts. This is why I love my father so much. He doesn't have to say or do much, but he's made me feel better with just one phone call.

"Dad, I think the kind people of Forks would come after me with pitch forks and start a bon fire outside of my house if their beloved Chief ended up locked up because the FAA took you in," I sigh heavily and continue. "There's nothing that you can do, I just need to deal with this. I just really wanted to talk to you, maybe get a little perspective."

"Well baby girl, I wish I could tell you that this is going to be easy, but it never is when you love someone."

His words go straight to my heart, because no amount of denial will ever erase the fact that I am still in love with him. I wish I was able to just put that part of my life behind me, move on, but when I met him in school that day, my life was changed, never to be the same again. Charlie's next words make me realize just how much I still have to think about when it comes to this situation.

"Sometimes, baby girl, you just have to decide if the pain and hurt are more important than allowing yourself to take that next step into the unknown. You, owe it to yourself, to not live with this pain anymore. You, have to release yourself, from the power this has over your life. "

"Basically, you're telling me that I have to forgive him? I don't know if I can do that Dad. Do you honestly believe that he deserves it?"

"That's the thing about forgiveness, Bells, no one actually deserves it. It's a gift and just like any gift, we give it because we want to, not because of anything that the other person did to deserve it. I'm not telling you what to do, but maybe you need to forgive him in order for you to finally let the situation go, and then you can move on without this weight holding you down."

"Ok, who are you, and what have you done with my gun-toting, take-no-prisoners Dad?"

"Must be the late hour making me all soft."

We laugh at that and it seems to ease the heavy conversation. We talk for another half hour, and I promise to make arrangements to visit soon and to have the boys call. A little time away sounds really good right now, and I make a mental note to start checking out flights this week.

Even after talking to Charlie, I still can't sleep and decide to stay and sit outside and watch the sun rise. As the sun starts to peek out over the lake, the fresh morning dew brings with it a chill in the air, and I decide to go back inside. I sit on the sofa and relax; it might be the only peace I get before my day has to start. I sit there and my eyes begin to get heavy but with a glance at the clock, I realize that sleep will have to wait-typical. I begrudgingly get up from the sofa, determined to make breakfast for the boys, but one glance in the fridge reveals that I have no food and have no choice but to cook in the main house. I guess there's no time like the present to take the first step into Hell. I leave a note for the boys, letting them know that I'll buzz them on the intercom once the food is done.

Once back in the main house, I notice that they're still not home and take advantage of the time alone by putting my iTouch into the dock in the kitchen and getting to work. The music filters through the still-quiet home, and the words take me back to a young girl that I've struggled to forget. I lean against the counter while the food sits simmering. For the first time in five years, I allow myself to drift back to a time when I was still so unaware of how life-altering that move to Forks, Washington would actually be. The song playing becomes the back drop for those memories, and I just drift. Every kiss, every smile and laugh, they were never meant to last, I just couldn't see it-didn't want to see it.

Easy come, easy go

That's just how you live, oh

Take, take, take it all

But you never give

Should've known you was trouble

From the first kiss

Had your eyes wide open

Why were they open?

Gave you all I had

And you tossed it in the trash

You tossed it in the trash, you did

To give me all your love

Is all I ever asked

Cause what you don't understand

Is

I'd catch a grenade for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)

Throw my hand on the blade for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)

I'd jump in front of a train for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)

You know I'd do anything for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)

I would go through all this pain

Take a bullet straight through my brain

Yes, I would die for you, baby

But you won't do the same

No, no, no, no

Black, black, black and blue

Beat me 'til I'm numb

Tell the devil I said "Hey" when you get back to where you're from

Mad woman, bad woman

That's just what you are

Yeah, you smile in my face then rip the brakes out my car

Gave you all I had

And you tossed it in the trash

You tossed it in the trash, yes you did

To give me all your love

Is all I ever asked

Cause what you don't understand

Is

I'd catch a grenade for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)

Throw my hand on the blade for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)

I'd jump in front of a train for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)

You know I'd do anything for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)

I would go through all this pain

Take a bullet straight through my brain

Yes, I would die for you, baby

But you won't do the same

If my body was on fire

You would watch me burn down in flames

You said you loved me, you're a liar

Cause you never ever ever did, baby

But, darling, I'd still catch a grenade for you

Throw my hand on the blade for you

I'd jump in front of a train for you

You know I'd do anything for you

I would go through all this pain

Take a bullet straight through my brain

Yes I would die for you baby

But you won't do the same

No, you won't do the same

Oh, you never do the same

No, you won't do the same

You wouldn't do the same

Ooh, you'd never do the same

Oh, no no no

The smell of the bacon burning brings me out of my musing. I dump the charred bacon and replace it with new slices. I change my play list to something a little more playful to avoid wandering down memory lane again.

Twenty minutes later, I call down to the boys to start heading up. Once I have everything plated, I wait for the boys to join me. Just as I hear the back door open, I also hear movement at the front of the house. This is it, the moment I was praying I could hold off for just a little while longer. I feel them behind me, but right now my focus is on the boys coming through the back door. The boys pile into the house, one by one, followed last by my heart. I feel the shift in the room the moment he steps through the door and looks at me with those big, emerald green eyes. He comes over to my side, seeming not to notice the group of people behind me, and leans in to give me a gentle kiss on my cheek.

"Good morning, Momma."

I can't fight the smile that over takes my face, I never can with EJ and would never try.

If I had any hope of outrunning this situation, I wouldn't even hesitate, but I remind myself that there's no where far enough to escape this situation. I reach over and tuck my little man into my arms, because I know in mere seconds this beautiful bubble that I've built for us will burst, and my past and present are going to have no choice but to collide. When the bubble bursts, it's smooth and light, a voice that has invaded my dreams and nightmares since the first time he spoke to me.

"Momma?" Coppertop breaths out in question.

That small breath seems to alert EJ that there are others in the room, and almost instantly, he's off and out the door. This has been my fear; EJ hates surprises more than I do. We had a plan, and now the plan seems to have gone down the drain. No explanation is needed, EJ is more than aware who Coppertop is, and from the look on Coppertop's face, as I glance back at him, he seems to understand who EJ is.

It takes me two seconds before I'm running out behind him. I can't hesitate with EJ, he's almost as fast as his father, and with me still being human, I don't stand a chance of keeping up. My only advantage is that he won't go far and he's consistent, so I know where he's run off to. I'm vaguely aware of others behind me, but I can't be bothered to care about any of them-my son is always first.

I spot EJ's hideout, a tall oak tree. Whenever things seem to get to him or he just needs to process things, this is where he heads and since I'm still human, it's the perfect place for him to buy some time to himself before I'm able to catch up with him.

"EJ, baby, I need you to come down."

"No, this wasn't the plan Momma, this wasn't what grandma and grandpa promised. I'm not ready, I don't want to come down." He's so stubborn and so much like me.

"I know that honey, and I wish I could tell you why they're here early, but I won't know that until we get this sorted out. I know you're not ready, and no one expects anything from you, I just need you to come down and eat your breakfast. After that, you can head off to school, and we can deal with this once you get back. I promise you, no one will do anything, and you don't have to talk until you're ready." I look behind me at Carlisle, who nods his head in agreement. The others look like they want to argue but think better of it when Carlisle and Esme send them a sharp look.

"If you won't come down, then I'm coming up there to get you."

I'm glad that last year we built a set of stairs that wrap up the side of the tree for moments like these. When I get no response, I start trekking up to meet him. Once I reach where he's seated, my heart feels like it's been steam rolled. He looks so scared and lost, nothing like the little boy that I've raised for the past four years. I reach out for him, and he allows me to gather him in my arms. Trees aren't the best place to be seated while still in pajama pants, but I'll sit on broken glass if that's what my son needs.

All I ever want is to protect him and keep him safe, but it seems that no matter how much I would have liked to protect him, there are just some things that are out of my control. All I can do now is hold my scared little boy and pour all the love I have into him. Even though the people he is suppose to be able to trust have lied to him, I pray he never loses his faith and trust in me.

After a little while, he allows me to pick him up, and I start to walk down the stairs. For a normal four year old this might not be too bad, but EJ has never been a normal child. He's four but looks ten, so this is not the easiest thing in the world to do, but I won't let go, even if he wasn't clinging to me for dear life. I need him just as much as he needs me right now.

We walk back to the house and no one says a thing. I attempt to sit him down in the chair next to me, but he won't budge, so we sit together and eat in silence. At some point, a seething Jake and Seth join us at the table and I'm aware of the others, but again no one says anything. I need to get up and get EJ and myself something to drink, but I can't while he's still clinging to me. After some coaxing, I manage to get him to go and sit with Jake while I step into the kitchen.

I pour myself a glass of orange juice and fill a small cup up with pomegranate juice mixed with cougar blood; EJ's favorite and right now I won't deny him anything. The music from my iTouch is still playing in the background and is the only sound heard throughout the house, other than the scraping of metal on plates. I glance over at the clock and notice that EJ's bus will be here soon, so I go about grabbing his school sweater and book bag and putting them on him.

Once he's set up, I grab my hoodie and head out the door with him. Before he gets on the bus, I remind him that since it's Wednesday, I'll be picking him up, then we'll grab something to eat after. I usually love Wednesday, it's my day off, and mine and EJ's day once he gets out of school. Today, I know it's going to be different and once I walk back through the house, so much is going to change.

As I approach the house, I square my shoulders and hold my head up high, determined not to give them the satisfaction of not meeting their gaze. Back inside the house, voices are raised and I know this is just the beginning of what's to come. Stepping into the family room, everyone's gaze turns to me, but I focus my attention on him, because honestly, his is the only opinion that matters in all of this. He opens his mouth five times before he finally gets the words out, and instead of just manning up, he decides to beat around the bush. If there's one thing that I can't stand, someone playing games. Play lotto, buddy, not me.

"Anything you maybe want to tell me?"

He almost looks innocent as he stares at me from across the room. Experience has taught me to know better, so I don't even hesitate with my answer.

"Let's see, I live in New Hampshire, I own a bar, live with a bunch of vampires and werewolves, but that's pretty common for me. Am I missing anything? No, I don't think so."

I maintain a straight face the entire time, although I could almost laugh at the expression on his face. But this is no laughing matter.

I turn and walk back into the kitchen to finish cleaning when I look over my shoulder and say "Oh yeah, I almost forgot, you are the father." And with a wonderful surge of confidence, I move into the kitchen, turn the music back up and clean up the mess from breakfast while mentally patting myself on the back.

YAY ME.

So there you have it EJ is their love child. Yes I know its been done before but I'm hoping it hasn't been done the way it's playing out in my head. Next chapter is almost done and it'll give us a look into what Edward thinks about all this.

Let me know what your thinking.

Song in this chapter was Grenade by Bruno Mars

Beckyd


	3. Chapter 3: No Win Situation

I feel like i went through so much just to get through this chapter, but here it is. I want to say thank you for all you support. I'm sorry for not answering reviews, but I promise to get better. Some of your questions will be answered in this chapter, but we still have a ways to go. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

Stephanie owns the Twilight universe; this is just my two-cents

Thank you PTB for Betaing this chapter

Chapter 3 No Win Situation

I first catch her scent just outside of the bar, and I don't know what to think or how to feel. I want to be angry. I had promised to stay away, but I can't help the thrill that shoots through me at the thought of seeing her again. She was - is - my everything_._

_ Maybe I'm not too late, and I can still prove that to her._

When my family and I walk into the bar, my feelings go back to being angry. Why would she be in a place like this? It's loud and crowded, and the bartenders and waitresses are on the bar dancing. This isn't the place for _my_Bella. I want to shield her from the immorality emanating from this place - I just need to find her first.

Once we are seated in a booth, I try to think of a way to approach her. I am grateful to have my family and Tanya here; she has truly been a great support over the last few years. After finally getting her to understand there would never be anything between us, she and I actually fell into an incredible friendship. She's easier to be around than my family. As much as I love them, they are too close to the situation. It's nice to have someone in my life that isn't so involved. At first, my family thought there was something between Tanya and me, but that would never happen. My heart belongs to the one woman whom I am hoping to be seeing shortly.

Almost as soon as that thought enters my mind, the crowd parts - and there she is. But this is a very different Bella than the one I knew back in Forks. This girl - no, scratch that, this woman - has a curvy femininity to her body that is foreign to me. Her clothes are skin-tight and emphasize every inch of her body. She's wearing heels, a wig, and leather lace-up cuffs on her wrists that just deepen the mystery of the beauty before me.

When she turns and looks in our direction, it is almost as if she has known we were there the entire time. She seems almost aloof to the situation. After a moment, she squares her shoulders, and with a smile on her angelic face, she makes her way over to us. As angelic as she will always be to me, the words that come pouring from her mouth are anything but heavenly. She is yelling and cursing, and she tells Rosalie to _"fuck you very much."_ Where did all of this come from?

There seems to be more to this situation than what Carlisle initially explained. Even though my vampire mind is able to capture more information, I am having a hard time keeping up. Things are just happening too fast. One minute Bella is yelling at us, or at Carlisle and Sal for bringing us there, and then she is passing out because of someone named EJ. I want to make things better, but I have no idea what to do.

I move as quickly as possible to try and pick her up, but Jacob is already hovering over her and growling at me to stay back. I'm not happy about it, but I step back. It isn't my place to step in like that anymore, and for all I know, it is now Jacob's place to be her hero. I am feeling so many things - anger, confusion, loathing. And somewhere in the mix of all that, there is still the love I've always held for Bella. If it was up to me, I would scoop her up and run away with her to make her understand that it was all a mistake and beg her to take me back.

Even after she wakes up, nothing is resolved, and I feel like I know less now than I did when she first walked up to the table. She just starts talking about books needing to be checked and shipments being put away. She can't get out of there fast enough. She can't get away from _me_ fast enough, and the hole in my heart grows that much bigger when she walks out the door with _him_following close behind. Being here with her is my first step to redemption, and I am going to fight like hell to make sure that she knows everything I said to her that day was a lie. Even if I have lost her forever, she at least deserves to know the truth.

After Bella leaves the club, the night drags on. To make matters worse, the members of my family are guarding their thoughts from me. Usually this wouldn't bother me, but I know that there is something going on, like they know more about what is happening with Bella than they are letting on. I feel like an idiot being kept in the dark. Seeing as I will have to wait for whatever answers I need, I try to get my mind to focus on the small changes I am already seeing in Bella. Bella - my Bella - owns a bar. If my Bella wore clothes like that years ago, it would have made her blush. This Bella is a beautiful and blossomed woman. This Bella can't even stand to look at me or say my name. My Bella is gone.

Once the doors close and we help Sal take care of the nightly duties, I am able to fully take in a piece of Bella's newly established life. The interior of the bar itself is a big contradiction to its name and the exterior. The inside is very far from resembling a shack. The glass bar is sleek, long, and rounded. The glass on the bar is smoked but with etched designs of stars, swans, and if I'm not mistaken, a mountain lion paw print, but that one is so faint that I might just be seeing things. The walls are blood red, and the seating alternates between red and black overstuffed chairs and sofas. The tables are low and wide, and the floors are dark, distressed bamboo. It is classy and beautiful; every detail seems to have been checked twice. Regardless of how I felt when I first looked into this place, looking at it now makes me proud of the woman that Bella has become, and I want to know what else I have missed out on.

~TLS~

Once we are back at the house, everything seems to happen in slow motion. The first thing I notice is my angel standing in the dining room, facing the back door, looking incredibly sexy, and not because of anything in particular; it is just her mere presence. She stands there in her pajamas, and her naturally rich mahogany hair is tossed up in a bun, and she's just - breathtaking. Even though you can see it in her eyes that she hasn't slept, she has never looked more beautiful to me. The sound of the back door opening causes me to focus my attention there. When I walked through that door this morning, I never would've thought that EJ's identity would have any effect on my life. Needless to say, I am not prepared for what I see. I have never been more scared in my entire life, and judging from the thoughts of my family, I am not alone in my fear. We are all having a _what the hell_ kind of moment - all of us, with the exception of my parents. Yeah, they definitely know what is going on.

Once EJ is aware of our presence, he takes off like he is on fire, running back outside into the trees. He seems so scared, and Bella doesn't even miss a beat; she is out behind him before I can even ask what is going on. I don't really need to ask that question. I know he is mine - Bella doesn't have to tell me. I know what happened between us, even if I never told anyone else. I know, and for some reason, I have always suspected that Carlisle and Esme knew but could never figure out how. Now, the pieces are coming into place.

Once we are all outside, Bella does her best to reassure him and let him know that he doesn't have to do or say anything. I focus on where his voice is coming from, and I am able to spot him through the foliage. As he sits perched in a tree about twenty feet away, scared and completely unsure, emotions I have never experienced start to bubble over inside of me. He is beautiful, the perfect mix of me and his mother - mahogany hair and bright green eyes. I can't take my eyes away from that spot in that tree, afraid that if I do, I will miss more than what I already have.

I stand back and watch her carry him out of that tree and take him back into the house. I ache to go to them, to hold them and be the other piece to that puzzle, but I am an outsider to the family that they have already built for themselves, and all I can do is follow them back into the house with my family.

We remain silent while they have their breakfast, and even though there is a whirlwind of thoughts surrounding me, I pay no attention to any of it. My only focus is on the beautiful young woman who stole my heart so many years ago and the little boy who's clinging to her like a lifeline in a raging sea. Eventually, they make their way from the house in order for EJ to start his school day.

Once they are out of earshot, I turn to my "parents" because they seem to be the only ones with any knowledge of what is going on at the moment.

"You knew about this the whole time, and you never told me or never insisted that maybe it was in my best interest to come here sooner? How could you do this to me? That's my family, and you kept them and probably a lot of other information from me," I snarl out.

"Well, you're certainly one to talk, Edward. Try and remember one thing, son: the fact that you are not a part of this life with your 'family' is entirely your own doing. Not once did anyone stop you or tell you that you couldn't go back to Bella. Never once did we even tell you that you had to leave Bella. Don't stand there and point an accusing finger at us when this was all set in motion by you and you alone."

By the end, Carlisle has raised his voice while coming to stand directly in front of my face. He has never spoken to any of us like this. Carlisle has always been loving and compassionate; he has seen us at our worst, accepted us at our worst, but this is the first time I have ever felt like he is ashamed of me. I probably could go out and slaughter half of New Hampshire, and he would be understanding and not judge me for it, but what I have done to Bella is inexcusable in his eyes - and in my own. Before I have a chance to respond, Bella returns.

Now, I stand here with my mouth hanging open, gaping at her retreating form. I am over a hundred years old but have no words for the twenty-two year old woman who just walked away from me. I don't even know what to think about everything that has happened in the past twenty-four hours. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that my life would change so quickly.

I can hear her moving about in the kitchen to the music that is playing, seeming not to have a care or consequence in the world. It appears as though she has no intention of coming back into the living room, and for whatever reason, my feet are glued to the spot where I am standing. Finally, Carlisle walks into the kitchen to approach her.

"Bella, I understand your frustration at the moment, but there are certain things that we should discuss sooner rather than later."

"I'm not frustrated, Carlisle; I'm fucking pissed. Did you not see your grandson's reaction to all of this? Do you have any idea what that does to me, seeing my son acting like a shell of himself? And the best you can come up with is 'Bella, I understand you're frustrated.' I hope for your sake, as a doctor, that your bedside manner is a little better than your approach to this conversation. Your human interaction skills could use a little work. Regardless of that fact, there are some answers that I need, so please lead the way."

She glides through the room as she moves to sit on the ledge of the fireplace. I am waiting for the last second stumble that will color her cheeks with a faint blush, but the moment never comes, and I am left wondering when so much changed.

"Does someone want to start talking? I have things to do before I have to pick up my son."

"Why don't we start with that, and you can give the family some background information on the situation," Carlisle suggests.

"Edward and I had sex, he left, and I have been caring for my son. Is that enough background for everyone?"

"Bella, I know that this isn't what we agreed on, but maybe a little bit of how things came about would be helpful."

"I knew he was too much of a pansy to ever tell anyone what happened between us. The reason he really asked you all to leave Forks." The look on Bella's face as she says this is a mixture of hurt and anger. I put my head down to gaze at the floor. I can't blame her for how she feels; I am pathetic. This is a mess that I have made, and as the hours progress, I see that I have done more damage than good.

"Okay, so allow me to enlighten you all. After Edward and I came home from school to watch 'Romeo and Juliet,' we had sex, and because I got a bruise on my hip, he freaked out. We then went to casa Cullen, and Jasper almost had me for a snack like some kind of fucking Oreo. A few days later, you were all gone, and Edward so nicely informed me that I was nothing more than a test of his control, and that I had never meant anything to him.

"Ever the gentlemen, he apologized for taking things too far. I later found out I was pregnant. I managed to finish up school early, and Victoria came back for me and tried to kill me, but I had the Pack protecting me. They tried to get rid of her and almost did, but even still, she managed to get away. The Volturi know about my son and me. We moved here, and that's pretty much our life in sixty seconds."

Even though the sarcasm is showing in her tone, so is the pain. As thoughts begin to bombard me, I know that not only am I a monster but a dead man...well, more so than before. My entire family is seething as they sit there and take in a story that I hope to never have to replay for anyone. Bella's voice brings everyone out of their mental debate of my dismemberment.

"Anything you want to add to the story, Coppertop?"

I ignore her question. I have so many questions, but first I need to know how deep we are in with the Volturi.

"How do the Volturi know about you?"

"Victoria wasn't exactly subtle in her attempts to find me. They sent Sal to investigate the situation. Since I was the source of all the problems, he took me back with him to Italy."

This is when the pieces start to fall into place. This is when I notice the change in Carlisle and Esme. I turn to face my parents before I speak again.

"The call from Aro to go to Italy was for Bella, wasn't it?"

"Yes, Edward. She called on Carlisle to speak on her behalf. When we got there, we didn't know what they wanted, but we soon found out when they took us to the dungeons where Bella was being held," Esme says while I do my best to keep my emotions in check.

"Aro gave me until June 1st of this coming year to either be changed or die. He released me into Sal and Carlisle's care. That's why I'm still here - Carlisle was able to monitor my pregnancy and take care of us during that time."

She talks about it with such ease. Like we aren't talking about her death and her being held captive by vampire royalty.

"So, if we could move this along, I would appreciate it. I have no desire to sit here and shoot the shit with anyone, nor do I care for anyone's reasons or justifications. I just want to know why you're all here right now and move forward."

"Fine, then I'll just cut to the chase. Eleazar has been in Italy, staying with the Volturi for the past few weeks, and it would seem that the guards have received word of some activity going on with newborns being created. Victoria has been making something of a spectacle of herself. She's been changing people in a small town in one of the more secluded areas of Vermont. The Volturi have it on good authority that she is creating a small army to come after you. The Volturi have made it clear to Eleazar that they would be more than happy to step in and assist, though they will only do it with the promise that you and EJ would return with them to Italy," Carlisle explains.

"So, basically what you're telling me is that I should update my will and make arrangements for my son, because I'm screwed either way."

"No, that's why we're here to help - to protect our family."

That earns us a snort of laughter from Bella, as if the word _family_and the fact that we would want to protect her and my son are the funniest things in the world.

"And I should trust you all because you've proven how fucking loyal you can truly be, right? I'm expected to put my son's life in your hands because all of a sudden you're trustworthy? What's keeping me from just going back to Forks? The Pack may not agree with who my son's father is, but at least I know they have a shred of loyalty, which is a hell of a lot more than I can say for my son's family."

With that, my restraint begins to slip, and I have no control over the snarl that leaves my lips and echoes against the walls. I would die before I let anyone touch my family.

"You will stay here, and we will protect you, not a bunch of mutts. He is my son, and I will do what is necessary to protect our family, Isabella."

"Don't you fucking snarl at me, Coppertop. I am not _your_ Bella anymore, and I will decide what is best for my son. Until you prove to be more than a mere sperm donor, I don't think you have much room to tell me what I can or cannot do."

We sit and glare at one another before I turn my focus over to my father.

"Carlisle, why would they want them?" I can't take the anger out of my voice as I speak. I've only just gotten them back in my life, and now there is a threat of someone taking them from me. Carlisle hesitates and looks over at Bella, waiting to see if she will let us in of the rest of the story. Hesitantly, Bella looks up before finally saying something.

"EJ is very gifted. Unfortunately, Eleazar has been caught in the middle of all of this. He knows how gifted EJ is, and now, so does Aro." I can tell that there is more, but she seems to need a few moments before continuing.

"It seems that all of you have truly acclimated to being a family, because EJ has the same gifts as all of you, and he also has my gift. Your 'family' is already quite large and powerful, and Aro wants to stop us from becoming a part of that. Aro believes that EJ and I would be a good addition to his group of nut jobs."

"Okay, that explains EJ, but what good are you to them in all of this? Is it just because you're his mother, or is there more to this that you're not telling us?" Jasper asks. I can tell by his thoughts that he is using his military training to figure out what our strategy should be.

"You're right; it is more than me just being his mother. Aro wants my shield. I'm more powerful than Renata. Even now, as a human, the guard's gifts don't work on me. Also, according to Eleazar, I have another gift that he can't figure out yet; my shield is protecting it. The only person who knows what that gift happens to be is EJ, and according to him, it's going to be more powerful than my shield and will start showing itself before I'm changed. They're afraid that EJ and I will show allegiance to the Cullens if one of you were to change me. You're all already too powerful, and having us will only add to that.

"But what they don't seem to understand is that I just want to live my life in as much peace as possible. I really don't give two shits about some stupid vampires and their desire to rule over the undead. I want no part in any of this. All I want is to raise my son in peace."

"So, why didn't they just keep you there when they had you? Why would they go through all this trouble if all they wanted was for you to join them?" I ask. It is more trouble than what the Volturi had to go through. Where are they going with all this?

"I wish I knew the answer to that question. All I remember is that one minute I was in a dungeon waiting to die and the next, Esme was carrying me out of there."

"You could've called me instead of Carlisle. I would've come and taken care of you."

"The guard would have taken you for your gift, and then we would've both been screwed. I may not have vampire senses, but I know Aro would've given up half the guard to get his hands on your gift."

She was thinking of me. She was trying to protect me. After what I had done to her and how I had treated her, she still wanted to protect me.

"So, now if you'll excuse me, I need to move some of our stuff from our house up here into the main house. Seth and Jake, could you help me out till I have to go and get EJ? I'll need to withdraw him from school today while I'm there, so he won't be alone during the day. Regardless of how I feel about you all, I think he would be better protected here than out there where God only knows what can happen to him."

With that, Bella exits out the back door with Jake and Seth, leaving the rest of us in a stunned silence. I sit there thinking about what Bella has told me about EJ, and I am amazed. I never would have imagined the family we had created as a way of blending in would bind us in such a way...or maybe it was just Bella; she was always the missing piece, and our family was never the same after we left.

As I watch them descend down the path, I decide to follow at a distance. I watch while they work, keeping myself hidden. I have been away from her for so long that each moment is so precious, and even if she never allows me into her graces again, I know I will always be only a few feet behind her for the rest of eternity. I know once I return to the main house that I will have to deal with the rest of the family, but for right now, I just need to be close to my heart. I have so much to make up to them, and somehow, I will.

~TLS~

Everything is going fine with the packing until Bella receives a phone call that she needs to pick up EJ immediately as there has been a situation at the school. My mind begins to swirl with all the possibilities of what could have happened, and with the conversation from earlier, my fear begins to spike. I hope that Bella will ask me to go with her, but I know I really have no right to be included in a parental matter when I haven't shown that I am capable of handling such a role. So, when she walks toward the garage, I don't stop her or protest, I just allow another wave of guilt to slam into me.

Many times over the years, I wished for things to be different and to have returned to her. I always stood in my own way. Carlisle is right; this entire situation is my doing, and if there are any fingers to point, they would all be at me. I can't even be completely mad at Bella for keeping our son from me. Had I made better decisions in the past, maybe she would have come to me sooner; or better yet, if I had never left, they would have always been a part of my life, and I wouldn't be an outsider looking in on them.

Once she leaves, I know that I can't hide from my family any longer. If I have any hope of fixing things with Bella and EJ, then I need to make things right with the rest of the family, as well, and hope that they can forgive me for withholding this from them for so long. I let them assume it was Jasper's actions that night that made me decide to leave. It was never about what happened at the party - it was just the excuse.

I walk into the main house and am immediately slammed into the wall beside the door. Emmett's grip on my neck is at best painful, and I am grateful I don't need to breathe because I would have already been dead.

"You made us leave and swore that it was to protect Bella from what we are, when all this time it was about ridding you of your guilt. If it wasn't for that little boy, I would kill you where you stand; you don't deserve them."

I slide down the wall once he finally releases his grip. I look around at my family. Alice can't even look at me, and her thoughts and those of my family tell me that, for the first time after all these years, my family is ashamed of me. I can't even blame them; all I can do is hang my head in shame and allow their thoughts to assault me because I deserve it and so much more. I am not sure how long I sit there, but before I know it, Bella's scent is filling my senses and the nervous thumps of an unfamiliar heartbeat stand out above my family's thoughts.

Bella and EJ enter the room, and I am reminded of how foolish I am for ever leaving her. I try to focus in on EJ's thoughts, but his mind is as closed off to me as his mother's. Again, he clings to his mother as his lifeline, and the shame that washes over me could drown a small village. I am lost in a sea of my own guilt, and all I want to do is run so that they will no longer have to deal with me in their lives causing them pain.

As soon as the thought passes through my head, Alice gasps and confirms that she saw me leaving, but what I don't expect is for EJ to see it, too. He looks over at me for the first time since this morning, and in a small voice that will forever haunt my mind, he says to me, "Go and run away. It's what you're good at; just don't expect us to be here waiting."

He escapes to the upper level of the house with his mother following behind him. I haven't even truly met my son, and it already feels like I've lost him.

I will never give Tanya, Edward. That would never happen, but I dont have any plans to make her an uber bitch, that's what we have Rosalie for. There are still things that Edward doesn't know about but were getting there. Baby steps are needed with these two sometime.

Let me know what you think

You can find me on twitter EdwardsLoveMonk


	4. Chapter 4: Getting to know you

**Hello all **

**The next chapter is here. EJ and Edward are finally meeting properly. Someone asked about an Alice POV and I'm thinking about it. If I do it than I'll make it into an outtake later down the line. Someone also commented on Bella's nickname, I promise that'll be explained. Hope you all enjoy this chapter. The next two are going to be dealing with more of what Bella's been dealing with for the past five years.**

**See you at the bottom**

**Thank you to my Twilighted Beta LisaDawn75 for getting this posted so quickly I really appreciate it.**

**Thank you PTB for all your wonderful Beta work.**

**Stephanie owns all things Twilight but cutie little EJ is all mine.**

Chapter 4- Getting to know you

This day was shaping up to be one for the record books. I wish I could just throw my hands up and be done with all of it, but I wouldn't do that to EJ. No matter how selfish I wanted to be in all of this, I would always put him first. As we walk into the house, I am already annoyed with the situation at the school, and I know I have to let the others know what happened, but then EJ looks at Coppertop and tells him to run away. Before I have time to process what has happened, EJ is running upstairs.

I walk into my old room and through the adjoining bathroom into EJ's room. He's sitting in the center of his room staring at the pattern in the rug, like it is going to give him the answers he needs.

"Do you want to tell me what happened down there?" Silence. The only thing I can come up with is that Edward is doing his tortured soul bullshit and EJ heard his thoughts. When will this man pull his head out of his ass?

"You know he doesn't mean to always be so broody; it's just sometimes he just is. I don't know what he was thinking about that got you so upset, but I can almost guarantee that whatever it is it's because your dad thinks he's doing something for your benefit."

"I don't think he likes me very much," he whispers into his shirt as he curls his body into a ball. He's trying to protect himself from what he believes will be his father's rejection, and I'm hoping that after all this time, I'm not completely wrong about Edward; that I haven't exposed my son to more pain and heartache.

"Is that what your dad was thinking that made you run away?" I don't want to assume anything because I'm still hoping that everything I've told EJ about his father isn't complete crap.

"No, he was just thinking about leaving again; Alice and I had the vision at the same time. Why would he leave if he liked me? I know you've always said he would be happy when we finally meet, but maybe the person you knew doesn't exist anymore, Mom."

"E, I'm going to tell you something about your dad, something that I don't think I've ever said to you before, and I need you to listen very carefully. Are you listening?"

He nods at me without fully lifting his head, so I can't see into his eyes.

"Your dad sometimes lets his judgment get a little clouded. He has this perception in his mind on how things should be, and how things should be for the people around him. He doesn't always see the bigger picture of the decisions he makes and that usually leads him to act a little irrationally. I'm not telling you this so that you can always let him off the hook, but maybe this once we can just let this slide. He's overwhelmed, but I know if you give him the chance, he'll be a great father." Taking my hand, I raise it to his chin so I can pull his eyes up to mine before I speak again.

"So what do you say, EJ-can we give him a chance to be your dad? I know this is scary, but all you have to do is go downstairs-we'll figure out the rest from there."

Timidly he looks around his room and then back to my face. For a moment, I think he's going to refuse, and if he does, then what? He lets out a heavy sigh like he's battling against the weight of the world before he gives me a slight nod and motions with his head toward the door. I'm not used to this EJ. My EJ is energetic and talks a mile a minute, but this EJ is so sullen and withdrawn. I hope he hasn't buried that part of himself too deep and that this is just temporary.

Before either of us can change our minds, I grab his hand and lead the way back down to the family room. We walk slowly and the closer we get, the firmer EJ's grip on my hand becomes. I wish there was a way for me to make this easier on him; I wish that we would've been better prepared for this meeting. All I can do is be there for him. We reach the bottom of the stairs, and I feel EJ pause and hide behind my legs.

He clutches onto the back of my legs, and I slowly shuffle into the room filled with expectant eyes. I really wish I had a clue as to what to do, but I don't and I'm terrified that I'm going to do this all wrong. I work quickly to bury that feeling because no matter what I'm feeling, EJ needs me to take the lead on this. I decide to start with the easier people in this situation and just move from there. While still trying to hide him, I crouch down and face my son.

"Baby, Granddad and Mima are here to see you. Do you want to say hello to them? I'm sure Mima could really use one of your special hugs right about now."

He slowly glances around the room before looking at me. He slowly nods and makes his way over to his grandparents. Esme is the first to wrap him up in her arms, and I notice some of the tension in EJ's body diminish. Regardless of my own personal feelings on this family, Carlisle and Esme are amazing to their grandson. They love and dote on him-I love the way they are with him and have never regretted having them in his life. I watch on as EJ rocks back and forth slowly in his grandmother's arms. I can't hear what she's saying, but I'm sure she's murmuring words of love and affection to him-it's just her way. She's even still like that with me. Even with the number of times I've pushed her away, she always does her best to pull me back in. I honestly I love her for it, and one day I might stop pulling away-maybe.

EJ finally pulls away from his Mima and looks shyly over at his granddad. Carlisle pulls him in for a hug, and the room is filled with EJ's laughter as he squirms within his granddad's hold. Carlisle ruffles his already unruly hair and beams down at his grandson. As he interacts with his grandparents, I can see the spark coming back into his eyes. The carefree little boy that I know so well is starting to show himself.

Once he pulls away from Carlisle, he comes and tucks back next to me. Some of the uncertainty begins to show once again, but it's now mixed with curiosity. I look down the line at his family and try to decide where to start first. Directly in front of me are Emmett and the Ice Queen, and I'm figuring I should start here and work my way down the line. Still crouching down, I pull EJ in front of me.

"E, this is your uncle Em that we've talked about and his wife, your aunt Rosalie." I try to smile as pleasantly as possible because regardless of my own issues, I want EJ to make his own opinions about his family.

"Hey, little man, I'm your cool Uncle Em. Anything you need, any time you need it-just come and find me. I got your back, kid."

EJ grins up at the big behemoth of an uncle, and I instantly see how at ease they seem to be with one another. I honestly always knew that they would be; it's just the way that Em always was with me that let me know that my son would have a partner in crime for life.

"Do you play any sports, Uncle Em? Uncle Jake's been teaching me, but we can never get a full game going. Would you play with us? I promise I'm really good, and I'm pretty fast."

"Any time, little man, you just let me know the time and the place, and I'll be there. What do you guys usually play?"

"Soccer, football, and baseball, but I really love soccer."

During this entire banter, the rest of the family is watching on intently, and Rosalie seems to be in awe of the interaction between the two of them but chooses not to add anything more than a simple smile. As much as I'm enjoying this display, I have to pull EJ away to continue the introductions. Now as we progress, all the tension seems to leave him, and his confidence is higher than it's been this whole time.

"Baby, this is your uncle Jasper and your aunt Alice."

EJ tilts his head to the side like he's examining them. After a few minutes of silence, his laughter fills the room, and he turns his head toward me.

"He's trying to figure me out, Momma. He doesn't understand why his gift isn't working on me, and he doesn't know if I'm a threat to them."

The stunned looks on everyone's faces makes EJ laugh more, and his infectious laughter causes me to join in. Finally we compose ourselves and get back to the business at hand. He sticks his hand out to Jasper and gives Alice a quick hug.

"Your gifts won't work on me, and they'll rarely work on Mom anymore. We're both shields, so we get to stay under the radar."

"But they always worked before, why wouldn't they work now?" Jasper inquires. I can tell he's more curious than suspicious. Jasper has always been the guy in the background, taking everything in and trying to figure things out. EJ has just given him the ultimate puzzle to try and solve.

"Mom's getting stronger. She'll keep getting stronger. Her gift is like a muscle-the more she improves on it, the more force she'll have behind it. Plus, the more she turns into herself, the more protection her shield provides."

EJ stuns the entire room into silence with his eloquent description of my inner workings. I can tell by Jasper's face that he wants to know more, but when he looks over at his over-excited wife, he pulls it back in while smiling lovingly at her. EJ extends his hand to Alice and I'm sure the squeal she lets out breaks the sound barrier.

"O-M-G you are so cute. You have to be the most adorable thing that I have ever seen. We're going to have so much fun together. Do you shop? Don't worry. I'll get you into it. OH MY G OD I'm an aunt. Jasper can you believe that after all these years, I'm actually an aunt. This is so cool."

EJ is momentarily stunned by the short woman that almost seems to be levitating off the sofa. For me it just brings back more memories of a time so long ago. I have missed my best friends-my family-so much, and now having them here and watching them with my son brings all those feelings back. Those feelings were now tainted by the hurt and pain that had been caused by this family.

Sensing where my emotions are taking me, EJ grabs hold of my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. Even though the others' gifts don't work on me, that doesn't apply to EJ. He doesn't even have to try; he just maneuvers around areas where others can't step. In all honesty, it's pretty weird to be such an open book to your son, but we have boundaries set up, and fortunately for us, EJ is able to tune out his gifts when he needs to. I try to teach him to respect the privacy of others and understand when certain things can't be avoided, but I'm proud of how determined he is to not be intrusive into others' thoughts or feelings. I must've been doing something right with him.

Not being able to control herself any longer, Alice scoops EJ up into a hug while swinging him around. If my son didn't look so terrified, I would've found the sight hysterical. My son, who is almost the same height as his newly found aunt, is barely dangling from the ground. As amused as I am at the sight before me, I decide to intervene and rescue my son.

"Alice, it's time to put the child down and bring it down a notch or two before you scare him into hiding."

I know she wants to argue with me, but then she glances at EJ and I'm grateful that she puts him down and does her best to contain her excess energy. I turn him towards the more unfamiliar member of the group.

"EJ, this is Tanya. She's a part of Carmen and Eleazer's family, and she's also very close to your family." I almost choke on that last word. They aren't really his family yet. I've been trying to keep my anger and my own personal feelings in check, but I really just want to give each of them a piece of my mind and tell them that they don't deserve to have my son in their lives. Tanya smiles at EJ and gently takes his hand when he offers it.

Introductions are almost over, and I've held it together this long; what's a few more minutes?

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Edward fidgeting and shifting from one foot to the other. A few years ago, I would've wanted to comfort him and I would've soothed him with my words, but this is now and there will be no sympathy from this devil. As we make our way closer to where Edward is standing, I can feel the tension return to EJ's form. If I'm being completely honest, it seems like all three of us are on edge. I almost wish we were in some Lifetime movie of the week where we would all have that great moment and go running into each other's arms, and the world around us would stop. We would hug and kiss and declare our undying devotion to our little family, and we'd walk away into the sunset.

Okay, sue me-I've watched a lot of Lifetime. It's not my fault that I was too big and too pregnant to get out of bed most of the time that last month. Regardless of my guilty pleasures, that won't be happening in this situation.

Once in front of him, we all just stand there and look at everything except each other. When I do finally look at Edward, I'm hoping that he will at least attempt to make the first move, but he seems too fascinated with a spot on the wall way over my head to do anything.

Once again it looks like I'm going to have to take the first step. Only one thing comes to mind, and I do my best to steady myself for what I'm about to do. Slowly, I raise my hand up and reach out for Edward to take my hand in his.

"Edward, it's good to see you after all this time. I would like for you to meet EJ, our son."

As we shake hands, the sparks shoot through me, and I fight to maintain my composure and focus on the little boy hanging on to me from behind. With my free hand, I pull EJ to the front to stand between us. Slowly and after looking up at me, EJ extends his hand up toward his father and begins to speak quietly.

"My name is Edward Jacob Masen Cullen. I'm four years old but I look ten. I'm special or at least that's what Mom says. Mom's told me a lot about you, and it's good to finally meet you."

Seeming dazed and in awe, Edward slowly lowers himself to his knees until he is eye to eye with his son. Moments tick by and some unspoken communication seems to pass between them. A second later, Edward is tightly holding EJ in his arms with EJ holding him with equal intensity. I let out a big breath that I didn't even know I was holding. Watching them together, I feel a squeeze in my heart. I always hoped for this moment, and now standing here, it's more than I could've hoped for.

It isn't until a few moments have passed that I realize that I am crying. Well, more like sobbing as I watch the two of them together. I've done my best not to regret the decisions I've made up to this point, but seeing them right now brings on waves of guilt. Who did I really do this for all these years: EJ or me? We would've found a way to make it work just like we will now, so why did it take so long for this to happen? And why did it take my hand to be forced to realize it?

EJ, still wrapped in his father's embrace, turns his head to look at me while shaking his head, letting me know without words that all is as it should be. I choke back the new round of sobs that threaten to break from me because it's his world that's changing, and I'm the one being comforted.

When they finally pull away from each other, matching grins plastered on their faces, Coppertop just stares at him. It's a look I've held many times over the years; it's a look of love and complete awe. Glancing around the room, I notice everyone trying to give us privacy but failing as they steal glances in our direction-not that I blame them. It's a sight to see.

Eventually the spell between the two seems to break, and Coppertop stands and looks directly at me. He lets out a shaky breath and whispers "thank you" to me as if I have just given him the key to life. Glancing down at my son, I think maybe I have.

Attempting to regain a bit of composure, I let them know I'm heading to start dinner. EJ seems a little hesitant to let me go too far, so I suggest having them sit in the kitchen while I get things started. I try to focus on what I'm doing and not listen in on their conversation, but it's so hard. I want full access, but I know that this is time that they need. EJ calling me causes me to snap around, almost making me to lose my footing and take a nasty spill into the kitchen island. When I focus eyes on my son, I can tell he's holding back his laughter.

"Not a peep, little bit." I laugh out while failing to send a mommy glare at him. He just holds his hands up in mock surrender and turns back to his father.

While the food is simmering and the boys are lost in conversation, I decide to make my way to the back porch. I usually like to go back there to be alone and enjoy the quiet, but once I reach the porch, I realize that Jasper is already there. He stands there, leaning against the railing with a cigarette resting lazily between his fingers. Without giving him a chance to react, I pull the cig from between his fingers, bring it to my lips and take a deep cleansing pull. Jasper's mouth hangs open as I replaced the cig back between his fingers.

"The kid keeps throwing mine away, so I have to bum them every once in a while," I state matter-of-factly.

"No problem, just a little shocked is all; never really saw you as the smoking type. I'm sure my brother is in the middle of a coronary right now," Jasper says with a light chuckle.

"Guess it's a good thing he's no longer my keeper, or I might actually have to fear the big bad Edward Cullen," I stated flatly with a shake of my shoulders, not even attempting to hide the sarcasm.

"Listen, Bella, if you really want to be mad at someone, I'm more than…" I cut him off swiftly.

"My anger is placed exactly as it should be. You were the excuse, the justification for selfish, self-loathing actions. He made his decision before we even made it back to the car. What happened that night just gave him better leverage in his argument." Taking a deep breath, I continue with the words that I have waited five years to say.

"I never blamed you, Jasper. It was never your fault. Your brother and I made a decision that day-a decision that would change our lives forever, but it also put other things in motion. Not that I approve of being your Twinkie, but you still got stuck in the cross fire and for that I'm sorry. No one deserves to walk around with that kind of guilt. Nothing could've changed the events of that night to us being here at this moment. Regardless of how I feel about everything else, you don't deserve to feel responsible for how things happened between me and your brother. He should've been honest about his reasons for wanting to leave. I'm not saying he needed to give a detailed account, but he shouldn't have used the party as a reason to get you all to leave. That wasn't right of him."

It feels good to finally say that to Jasper. It felt like I am able to breathe easier.

"Thank you, Bella-you've taken a great weight from me, but I would be lying if I didn't say that you talking to Alice would really make things better."

He at least has the decency to look sheepish at his request.

"You're a good husband, Jasper, but that's an issue for me and my therapist. Maybe after another ten grand or so, we can start to move past all of this."

He gives me an amused raised eyebrow and a look as if to say, "really therapy!"

"Yes, I have seen the light and apparently the light is a black leather chaise lounge and sentences that start with 'so how does that make you feel,' a lot can happen in five years that can change everything. Therapy just gives me an outlet to deal with everything."

Even I can hear the haunting distance in my voice. Five years _can_ change everything. It can give you so much and take so much away. I pull myself away from the mirage of memories that are trying to break through the walls I've built.

"Well, I've got hungry boys to feed. Glad we could sort through all this."

I step back into the kitchen without looking at the faces that are always watching me these days. I focus on losing myself in my own mind.

_Shut out the world, shut out the pain._

And for a few minutes, it actually feels like I'm in my own bubble that no one can break through.

~TLS~

Dinner is done and EJ is nicely tucked away for the night in his old room. The rest of the evening just passes quietly. No more confessions, no more talks of the past, just another evening like so many others that had been shared in this house.

It is discussed that Esme would take over EJ's schooling. Earlier when I went to pick him up, I never imagined that it would be for bullying. EJ being bullied not the other way around. A teacher caught the tail end of some boy making sexually inappropriate remarks to my son about me by telling him "to get ready to call him daddy after he makes me scream it." The little perv is eleven-his parents must be so proud.

Once we sat down and talked about it, we found out that this boy had been harassing EJ since the previous semester. Two teachers had filed complaints against the boy, and the principal did nothing. If not for everything else going on, I had ample reason to withdraw my son. So EJ is now in Grandma's school of learning, and the others will lend voice as needed.

I walk back into the living room after saying goodnight to EJ, when I decide to grab my notebook and sit outside. Over the past few years, music and writing have become my greatest outlets. My therapist tells me my words are my freedom, and I'm inclined to agree. As I sit there, not really giving conscious thought to what is going down on paper, I feel the charge in the air. Who needs vampire senses when you're connected for life? I had every intention of ignoring him until he leaves but he just stands there. After a few minutes, I huff out in frustration before I address him.

"Stalking is a crime in this state, in case you weren't aware."

"I didn't know that you knew I was here."

"Hence the education on the laws of this fine state. Was there something that you needed from me?" I tried; I really tried to keep the anger out of my voice. I know, logically at least, that Edward has a right to be upset with me. I know this but it doesn't make my anger lessen. Hearing him, seeing him—hell even smelling him—brings so much back and if I'm being honest, it's more hurt than anger.

My anger, my hurt are what I have to hold on to. These feelings keep my heart from skipping a beat; they keep me from becoming the lovesick doe-eyed teenager I once was. These feelings remind me that we once existed together; that it wasn't all a dream.

"I just wanted to see that you were okay. A lot happened today and I know I can't be the only one that's overwhelmed by all of this. I was also hoping that maybe we could sit down and talk soon. There's a lot that I feel like we both need to say, but I won't push you. I'm ready when you are."

"Maybe in a few days once things calm down, we can go to my house and talk. I can show you some of EJ's things, and we can just go from there." I finally turn my head to look at him. He's still more beautiful than anything I have ever seen, but his eyes have since lost the spark that was once there.

"Was there anything else that you needed? Because I really want to finish what I'm writing and head up to bed."

"No, nothing that can't wait, but I did want to say that I'm glad you found someone. It's probably none of my business, but if Jacob makes you happy then I'm glad that you were able to find each other."

"So glad you approve. Now if you don't mind, I would really like to get this done."

He walks back into the house without another word. I am left there with words swirling around in my head and a pain in my heart that I have long since learned to live with. I turn back to the paper in my lap, and this time I'm more conscious of what I'm writing, and the words just flow out of me. My pain is my art.

~TLS~

Finally when my hand is painfully cramped up, I trudge up the stairs to my bedroom. Feeling like the weight of the world had been placed on me, I collapse into bed and roll onto my side. Not even seconds later do I feel warm arms surround me, Jake. He is my sun, my joy, and in the worst of times, my peace. Finally feeling myself relax, I exhale for what feels like the first time all day.

"Are they close by?" I whisper into Jake's arm.

"No, they've gone deep into the woods. I can't even smell them."

"He thinks we're together."

"Did you correct him? Did you tell him about Ness?"

"Nope."

I let the "P" pop and wait for him to speak.

Jake lets out a breath, and I feel his warm air cocoon me like a blanket.

"You're making this harder than it needs to be, Bells."

"Yeah, I know." I sigh, feeling so many emotions well up inside of me.

"Trust me, Jake-I know."

**So no love triangle. I love Jake and sometimes he gets the hard end of the stick in fics. Their relationship is going to be close but nothing romantic. The next chapter is in the works so I'm hoping to post quickly. Your reviews inspire me to keep writing.**

**You can find me on twitter EdwardsLoveMonk **

**Or**

**On FB as Edwards LoveMonkey**

**Till next time**


	5. Chapter 5: Standing the heat

**So sorry it took so long to get this chapter out but RL happens and you just have to go with it. I know there are still a lot of question but a lot is coming up in the next three chapters I promise there's a method to the madness.**

**PTB thank you for being so kick ass with your group's beta skills.**

**Stephanie owns all things EJ, I own lots of Tylenol to deal with my RL craziness.**

**See ya at the bottom.**

Chapter 5 Standing the Heat

The week passes quickly, and before I know it, it is Sunday. Things at The Shack are running smoothly. We're packed every night, and thankfully, only Jake and Seth have been at the bar with me. Everyone else is staying at the house, getting to know EJ. Every morning when I wake up, EJ rushes to tell me something new he's learned about his family. He's so happy, and I can't help but be happy for him. Coppertop is incredible with him. He spends hours with EJ, and when they are together, nothing else seems to exist. They gravitate towards each other. As for me and the others, well, I've been keeping a low profile when I'm home. Since Wednesday, I've done my best to avoid everything that doesn't relate to EJ or the bar. For the most part, I spend lots of time in my room writing or in the garage with Jake. I have spent two days in therapy and another two hours on the phone with my therapist. I'm just a little bit of a mess, but today is Sunday, and Sunday seems like a good day to just be okay.

Today is unseasonably hot, and as luck would have it, our AC is acting up in both houses. To make matters worse, I've barely slept these past few days. Seth is still angry with Glory and has been sleeping on the sofa in my sitting area. Between his, Jake's, and EJ's snoring, which can clearly be heard through the bathroom we share, I have a symphony going on in my room. So today, I wake up hot and tired; like I said, I'm a mess - a hot, fucking mess. I'm taking a cool shower to see if it'll help. I wish the stress of life were like the sweat that clings to my body - something that swirls down the drain as the water rains over me. I want to release it all, but according to my therapist, I'm conflicted; no shit, Sherlock. If this is what I'm paying almost $300 an hour to hear, then I think I need another opinion. I stay under the spray until I'm shivering.

Once back in my room, I change into a fitted, blue wife beater and a pair of blue polka dot sleep shorts. Not something I would normally wear with this amount of people in the house, but fuck it, this is my house, and it's hot as hell in here. I head down to the kitchen, and once I hit the bottom step, I hear the voices of our visitors and my boys. EJ and Jake are seated at the breakfast bar, laughing at something that Seth is doing at the stove. The rest of them are sitting at the table, talking about God only knows what. I walk up behind my boys to see what's so funny. Seth is attempting to cook...I think. There are eggs splattered on the floor and butter on my cabinets, and it looks like Seth is fighting with the frying pan. While he's muttering things that would make a sailor blush, I clear my throat, and he turns to face me.

"Morning, sis."

"Morning. What you doing over there?" I ask while eyeing the experiment in the pan.

"I'm making breakfast for everyone. I figured you could use a break this morning. What would you like in your omelet?"

Rooted at the breakfast bar, I look over Jake's shoulder into the pan on the stove. Those are not omelets. Since when do eggs look gray?

"You were going to feed this to us? You were going to feed this to my child?" I look down at EJ. "Have you done something horrible to your uncle that makes him want to poison us?" The three of us burst out laughing, and for a few moments, it's like it use to be, before all the stress came crashing into our world.

"Haha, yuck it up. See if I ever cook for you guys again."

"Can I have that in writing, because I don't think I can ever leave my son with you in good conscience if this is how you're going feed him."

"I'm hurt. Truly and deeply hurt," Seth says with a fake puppy dog look on his face. He can't hold the face for long, and soon the four of us are laughing. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Coppertop looking at us, and he has a look of sad amusement on his face. Then Tanya puts her hand on his forearm, and he looks at her. It isn't a look of devotion or love, but it still causes my heart to ache, and I look back to the boys.

"Seth, put that crap in the garbage, and I'll make us breakfast. I appreciate the gesture, but I would like to live past breakfast."

"Fine, fine, I can take a hint."

I move around the counter but stop when Emmett lets out a very boisterous what the fuck. I turn around to see what happened, but all I see is Emmett staring at me and pointing.

"What? What the hell are you pointing at?"

"Dude, you have a tattoo?" I'm not sure if he meant to phrase it as a question, but that's the way it came out. I roll my eyes and go to start cooking.

"Yeah, Momma's got a few pieces; they're really cool. And Mom's got metal, too. Stick out your tongue, Mom."

My baby is too cute sometimes, and I lean over the counter to ruffle his already crazy hair.

"No can do, baby. I have a spacer in right now," I tell him. He looks a little confused because I never take out my piercings. "Dentist appointment tomorrow, and I don't want to hear another lecture on how I'm killing the enamel in my teeth."

Emmett comes bounding around the table and walks right up to me. I don't really like the invasion of my personal space, but there's not much I can do against a guy Emmett's size. He grabs my hand and starts to inspect the beautiful art that wraps around my wrist.

"You know you could've just bought a charm bracelet. Didn't have to have someone stab one into you."

"You hear that, Jake? You stabbed this into me. Next time, less jabbing, more rubbing. And I used to have a real charm bracelet. Jake bought me one as a push present after I had EJ, but it broke one night at the bar. This is the next best thing."

"He did this? And what do we have here? What's this little charm?"

I know what he's looking at before I even turn my attention back to him.

"That is what happens when you lose a bet against Carlisle."

On the inside of my wrist, next to my pulse point, I have a small Cullen crest. One stupid bet with Carlisle - one I was sure I was going to win - leaves me with that fucking crest on my wrist. Aren't I just a lucky, lucky girl? Along with the crest, I have a fork, a police badge, a heart shaped-emerald for EJ's birthstone, a small shack, and a few inches below my middle knuckle, a small russet-colored wolf, because as corny as it sounds, I know Jake like the back of my hand.

When we first moved out here, I went with Jake when he decided to get another tattoo. He had drawn it, and it caught the eye of the owner. After that night, the owner asked Jake if he was interested in an apprenticeship. He saw something in Jake, and it's worked out well for him.

That night, I fell in love with the process of inking. Jake's mentor, Darrin, did my first piece. I cried almost the entire time. It wasn't even because of the physical pain. I never knew getting a tattoo could be so cathartic. I've been addicted ever since, only now, Jake does all my ink.

Emmett is bouncing around me, trying to see where else I might have some ink. Imagine trying to make omelets with a gorilla on speed trying to paw at you. Did I happen to mention I'm a damn lucky girl? Yeah, that's me: a damn lucky girl. No matter how many times I swat him away, he just keeps coming back. Everyone else think it's hilarious, but I'm getting annoyed. If I thought it would help, I would hit him on the head with the skillet that is currently in my hand.

"Emmett, I swear, if you don't calm down, I will shove an egg down your throat. If you're that damn interested, I will show you some of them, but I'm going to cook for my son first."

"See, Bells, I knew you would come around," he says as he plops back down at the kitchen table. He watches me the entire time, like I'm going to run away. Yeah, not likely to happen. Once everyone has their food, I sit on the counter and dig into my own. I half-listen as everyone around me talks, and each time I look towards the table, there is Emmett, starring at me like a prized bull. I take my last bite, and I'm about to climb off the counter, and there is Emmett, ready to pounce. I just roll my eyes, turn my head to the side, and lift away a few stray hairs. Right behind my left ear is the first tattoo that Jake ever did for me; it's small and most people don't notice it there. It is in shaky letters: bite me.

Emmett starts laughing so hard that he falls back a few steps, and I'm able to hop off the counter and put my plate in the sink. Everyone else is looking between me and Emmett like we have lost our minds. I turn my back on them and pull my ear foreword. I know they will be able to see it, and based upon the snickers I'm getting, they understand why Emmett lost his shit.

The tattoo was something I got after a long night at The Shack. Sal and I were still trying to get along with one another. That night, he made a comment about how the sex must've been so bad that Edward had no choice but to leave. I told him to bite me, and he almost did. I don't know why, but in my twisted brain I figured if all I had to say was bite me, then maybe I needed to extended an open invitation. EJ was about six months old at the time, and I was still trying to adjust to all the changes in my life. I just figured if I was going to die anyway, I might as well see if I had any takers. Dumb, I know, but it's been a long five years. I've dealt with things as best as I could.

"That is freaking epic. Rosie, I so need to get one; that would totally look totally badass on me."

Rosalie just rolls her eyes at him before reminding him that he's a doofus, and his skin was impenetrable.

"Momma said I could get a piece done when I'm eighteen, as long as my skin isn't too hard by that time."

I wink at my son and go stand next to him. He's always loved my tattoos, and he loves being able to sit with his uncle and watch him sketch. I'm staring at my son when Emmett's nagging captures my attention.

I lift my right wrist and show him the writing between my two scars - La Tua Cantante.

"Come on, Bells, let's see more. What else are you hiding?" There's a million-dollar question if I've ever heard one.

I turn around and lift the hair from the back of my neck: a black swan. It is all black and made up of beautiful swirling lines. Jake has a matching tribal one in the same spot. He's Black, I'm Swan - it's us. While keeping my back to him, I lift my left foot. Wrapped around my Achilles heel is more writing. The most important writing in my life - Edward Jacob. My son's two namesakes. It is only right that I pay them homage properly. My son is my weakness; I would probably be the world's youngest cat lady if I didn't have him. Looking over my shoulder, I see Emmett standing there, gaping and staring at me. He opens his mouth a few times to say something, but the words never make it out. I put my foot back on the ground and start to put stuff away. What am I suppose to say to them? We aren't friends or a family, so I opt to change the subject.

"Okay, it is way too hot to be in this house for the entire day. I think that we should spend the day down by the lake. We can barbecue, swim, and just relax for the day. How does that sound?"

"I'm gonna go put on my suit, Momma."

"I'll take that as a yes. Jake, if you don't mind, I need you to pick some stuff up from the supermarket."

"Hey, Bells, I can always help you out with the cooking if you want," Seth says to me with a lazy grin on his face.

"Sure, little brother. Should I just eat the chicken out of the bag, or do you want it to get that blackened look first?"

Seth looks at me with an expression of mock hurt before he tells me to make my own damn chicken. I roll my eyes at him and turn my attention to Jake. It's then that I notice that EJ has already taken off to change into his swimming trunks.

"Jake, you don't mind running to the market, right? It's nothing major, just a few things to grill out back."

"Nah, its fine, Bells. I needed to stop by Darrin's new shop anyway to get some more bottles of ink. I'll stop off there first, and then you can text me what we need."

"Okay, thanks. Since you're heading that way, do you mind giving Darrin something for me? I finished the photos that he wants to put up in the shop. Just tell him to go through them, email the photo number, and I'll have them ready for him in a few days," I tell him as I walk into the living room to grab my portfolio.

I hand the book to Jake and tell him that he can go through them if he wants. Taking pictures is something I've always loved, and when I got to Dartmouth, I decided to take photography as my minor and do something just to make me happy. I never think that what I shoot is anything special, but I love it, and others seem to enjoy my work to. To each their own. When Darrin decided to open up another shop, he asked me to take some photos of girls, pin-up style. He wanted the shop to have an old school, 1950's rockabilly style, so with a few girls he's done some work on and my beast of a truck, we were able to put out some great pictures.

Jake is still going through the portfolio when he says something to me. "These look great, B, but didn't you have these done almost two weeks ago? Why didn't you drop these off to him sooner?"

I know exactly what he's doing, what he's trying to get me to admit, but before I can answer him, EJ comes bounding into the room. I stop myself from laughing; EJ is standing at the bottom of the steps in swimming trunks two sizes too small. I love my son because he's standing there with the biggest grin in the world, knowing those trunks are not going to work.

"I'm ready, Momma!"

"Um no, little man, you are so not ready. Where are the new trunks I bought you for the Fourth of July? I know I bought you at least three new pairs."

"Yeah, I know, and this was the largest one, Mom."

This is the constant battle of having a child that grows at an accelerated rate. I know that many kids grow quickly, but we can't even make it an entire season without having to buy EJ almost all new clothes. At the beginning of this year, I thought I was being so smart by buying at least two sizes bigger, but even that proved to be futile. Ever since he turned four, he's been growing even faster than the previous years. I really need to learn to sew like Maria in The Sound of Music. He could totally rock that blue and white paisley curtain in my room. Yeah, never going to happen. Good thing the Shack is doing well because at this rate, we otherwise would be in a cardboard box.

EJ is looking at me expectantly.

Jake laughs out loud while looking at the tiny shorts. "All right, kid, go back upstairs, change into some regular clothes, and you'll go with me into town. We'll pick up some clothes for you."

EJ thunders back upstairs, and I ask Jake if he's sure about taking him shopping.

"Bells, that's my godson up there, and I will be damned if he goes running around out back in something that tiny. Trust me; he'll thank me for this."

"Thank you, I appreciate this. Let me just grab my wallet. You can just use my debit-"

Jake cuts me off before I can continue.

"Take that out your wallet, and I will take you over my knee, little girl," Jake growls at me while putting an extra waggle in his eyebrows.

"Well then, I guess it's a good thing it's not in my wallet, little boy."

"Just put that shit away. I got this."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, Wolfie. Take the Range Rover, so you have enough room for all the stuff you need to get. I'll get everything set up down by the lake, and we'll meet you guys down there."

Just as I finish that sentence, EJ comes bounding down the stairs and walks right up to Jake. After I needlessly remind EJ to listen to what his uncle says, they're out the door and on their way into town.

Seth is helping m me clean the kitchen when Glory and Sal arrive. Glory has been keeping her distance the last few days. I really wish these two would just talk because this is ridiculous. They're both miserable, but they would much rather avoid each other than talk about what's been going on. Imagine avoiding someone you love so you don't have some awkward conversation. Where do they get this stuff from?

Glory looks over at Seth while the rest of us stay where we are, trying not to look as awkward as we feel. With a nervous smile, Glory opens her mouth to say something but quickly closes it again. At her second attempt, it's Seth that finally speaks up.

"I'm not going to do this with you today, Glory. I just want to have a relaxing day and not be pissed off by all the bullshit that we have to deal with."

Glory bristles at Seth's sharp tone, but this time, she shows no signs of backing down.

"You have to talk to me, Sethie. You can't keep doing this to us. How can we move past this if you won't even speak to me? Eventually, you're going to push me so far that when you turn around, I won't be there anymore. Is that what you want? For me to be gone from your life?"

"I guess you gotta do what you gotta do. You always do anyway. As for me, I'm heading upstairs to change. Bells, I'll be back in a few, and then we can head down to the house and get the grill out."

I nod dumbly as he disappears to the upper level of the house. To hear my brother so cold and detached sends chills down my spine. This situation is getting out of hand, but it's up to them to resolve this.

"How can you just stand there and watch all of this unfold and not try and do something? I thought you loved your brother, but you stand there and do nothing," Glory spits at me. She's standing directly in front of me now, and I can see the venom spill from between her clenched teeth as she talks to me. I try to move around her, but she rests both her hands on the counter, caging me in so I can't move. I refuse to allow her to push this situation off on me. Enough is enough. Someone is going to get their head out of their ass, and it looks like I'm starting with Glory.

"I adore my brother, make no mistake about that, and trust me, I hate seeing him this way. But maybe if his girlfriend knew how to take responsibility for her actions, or if he would just tell you why he's so damn mad, you could move the hell on."

"He's only upset because he thinks me keeping this from him hurt you. If you would just tell him that everything is okay between us, then he wouldn't be upset with me anymore."

"If it were that simple, do you think that he would still be sleeping in my sitting room? Don't you think that maybe I already told him that because I hate to see him like this? You really need a reality check, little girl, because then, maybe you would realize that the reason he's upset has nothing to do with me and everything to do with the fact that the woman he loves is a fucking hypocrite!"

"Hypocrite? What the hell are you talking about? How am I a hypocrite in this situation?"

"How can you not remember? Do you just conveniently choose to forget stuff? Well, allow me to refresh your memory." At this point I'm in her face, not giving a damn who's over hearing this. I am yelling and throwing my hands around wildly. Not that I even have to yell, but it feels damn good to do, and at this point, I'm beyond caring.

"Do you remember when you and Seth first started dating? Do you remember how upset you got two months in when you found out that Seth lied to Sam and told him that he was staying to look into school and not because he had found you? You told Seth that you couldn't be with him if he couldn't put you first. You told him that if he couldn't be honest with his family and his tribe, then there was no future for the two of you; that you wouldn't play second fiddle to anyone. Do you remember now, or is your memory still foggy?"

Glory won't meet my eyes, so I continue.

"As soon as you said that, Seth was out the door and didn't come home for two days, and since he never told you what happened during that time, allow me to enlighten you. Seth went back to La Push, and in front of the council, his family, and his tribe, he told them all about the woman he imprinted on. Do you know what they decided after he expressed to them that he was in love with a vampire? They told Seth that while he would always be a Quileute, he was no longer welcome on their land. My brother was called a traitor and told that if he was going to love a bloodsucker, then he could be under the same treaty as one. And do you know what he told them? What he said to elders who have watched him grow up and friends that he's had since the time he came out of the womb? He thanked them for their time and told them to go sit on something pointy and spin. He told them if they couldn't accept you and your relationship, then there was nothing more that he wanted from them. He then got on a plane, came home, called his mother, and introduced you two to each other over the phone.

"My brother was turned away from his entire culture just to move on with you. He doesn't regret it - hell, he thinks it's what he should've done from the beginning, and you won't even tell Sal that you refuse to lie to Seth. After all your talk about you two being one and not letting anything come between you guys, now he feels like he's the one playing second fiddle. He won't stand in Sal's shadow forever; maybe it's time you thought about where your priorities are."

"I didn't know...he never told me any of this," Glory stammers out. She's still looking at the floor, and then her head pops up, and she looks at something over my shoulder. I turn around, and Seth is standing there. I can't read the expression on his face, but I feel like I've said too much, like I've betrayed the trust he has in me.

"Seth, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said anything without your permission. I just wanted her to see-"

I'm cut off by a bone crushing hug. For a few moments, he keeps me locked in his arms before he murmurs into my hair, "I can't stay here right now. I just need to go for a run and clear my head. I'm not mad at you; if anything, I'm really grateful. I love you, B, but I need to just run for a bit."

"Sure, just go, and be careful, and be aware of what's around you."

He doesn't answer me, and he doesn't acknowledge anyone else. He just runs out the front door, and within seconds, I hear his familiar howl.

I am getting ready to walk out of the kitchen when someone behind me gently brushes their fingers along my forearm. I turn around to see Glory shift around uncomfortably.

"I just want to make things right. How do I make it right?" Glory pleads with me.

"I don't know, but I hope you figure out something. You both owe it to each other to try and figure things out. For right now, just give him some space; he'll come around. You know Seth, he never stays mad for too long," I say while squeezing her hand, then I turn and walk out without another word. No matter how much I could stay and yell at that girl for what this is doing to my brother, I know her love for him runs deep. But one of them needs to take the next step and decide how much this is all worth.

~TLS~

Half an hour later, I am standing amongst piles of old clothes. I've emptied out most of my old drawers in hope that I will find a bathing suit that fits. The search is in vain because except for the clothes that I brought with me during the week, everything in here is from just after I had EJ. Good thing I have a good stock of swim suits at my house.

As I start to clean up the mess I made, I'm interrupted by a knock on my door.

"Come in!" I call.

"Do you need help with anything, dear?"

I turn, surprised by the unexpected, but very familiar, source of the voice.

"Um, I need a swim suit from my house and the grill on my back patio. I would usually ask Jake or Seth, but since they're not here and all, so, um, yeah, if you guys don't mind taking me to the house and then getting the grill, I'd appreciate it."

Sometimes I feel so inadequate and nervous around these people, I make my four-year old sound articulate. But Esme, being Esme, just smiles and tells me they'll be waiting for me downstairs when I'm ready.

I leave the rest of the clothes in their respective piles. I have no plans to ever wear these clothes again, especially the maternity clothes, so come Wednesday, I plan to put this stuff into boxes and donate this stuff. Why keep it when there's someone else that could use it?

Downstairs everyone is waiting for me in the living room, already dressed in their swimsuits. The place looks like a holding room for a run-way show. Stupid, beautiful people. I breeze past them and walk down the path to my house. The inside is just as I left it a few days ago. The vanilla and cinnamon scents that fill my home cause a pang in my chest that makes me miss its familiarity. It's the first home that was just for me and EJ, and thanks to that bitch Victoria, who doesn't know when to just let shit go, I had to uproot my son. Granted, the move is less than a hundred feet, but it's more the fact that she's always finding ways to disrupt my life.

I go into the kitchen and open up the window above the sink. I might as well air it out while I'm here. I'm heading up the hallway when I notice the answering machine blinking. I press play and keep walking; even with everyone here in my house, I have nothing to hide, so it doesn't matter to me if they hear the messages.

The first of my two new messages is from EJ's now former school, letting me know that I can pick up his tuition refund check any time this week. The next is one that I should've expected, and if so much hadn't been going on, I would've been prepared for it. I take back my last statement about not caring what these people hear; this is something I don't want anyone to hear, especially not these people.

I should be used to this by now because we go through this every month, but each and every time, this crap still gets to me.

"Isabella, do you really think that if you don't answer, I'll just go away? You listen to me, little girl, and you listen good. If you think for one minute that you won't be sending me my money, then you're even dumber than I thought. You and that little bastard do not want me to head over there. So, do us all a favor, Isabella, and do as you're told for once. You owe me this for ruining my life. So, be a good little girl for Mommy and send me my money, or next time we speak, it'll be me and Phil showing up on your doorstep."

I stand frozen at my bedroom door, unable to run back down the hall to end my mother's rant. She does this every few weeks, trying to get more money out of me each time. Neither she nor her husband have worked in almost two years, and despite the falling out we had when she found out I was pregnant, I was dumb enough to continue support her. At first, I didn't mind because she was my mother, and regardless of our differences, I still loved her, but all she's done is try to break me down. So, I'm done; it's over. I have way too much on my plate, and I'm sorry, Renee, but you're going to be what falls by the wayside. Finally catching my composure, I march into the kitchen, unplug the answering machine, and throw it into the garbage.

With the evil machine now in its rightful place, I walk back to my room without sparing a glance at anyone and go do what I came here to do. I close the door behind me and lean against the wood, allowing myself a moment to let the last few minutes sink in. The woman doesn't even deserve this much of my time, but the sting of hurt I feel at the hand of my own mother isn't so easily forgotten.

I walk over to my dresser and rummage through some of my bathing suit options. Since there's one tattoo that I don't allow others to see, I either have to go with a one piece or a high-waist bottom to keep most of it covered. The tattoo itself wouldn't make sense to most people, but the fact that it's so personal keeps me from wanting to explain its meaning. I opt for a high-waist two-piece with cute little cherries on it. It's one that I haven't had a chance to wear this summer, and the tags are still on. After slipping into it and pulling my hair back into a high ponytail, I feel like I've been time warped into the 50's. After having EJ, my body transformed into an almost Bettie Paige type figure. My hips and breasts are fuller, and I no longer feel like I am being passed over in the crowds. I now feel like I could hold my own with the Rosalie Hales of the world and do it with my head held high.

My cherry flip flops and white kitten sunglasses complete the look, and I walk back to my living room. This time, only Alice and Coppertop are there. They look up at me from the sofa and stare at me agape. I'm not the person that they're used to, but it's time to get over that and move the hell on. Since they want to sit there and stare at me, I keep walking toward the door. I am just putting my hand on the knob to leave when I hear Jacob and EJ approaching. The next second, Jacob is bursting through the door, arms filled with bags and a happy grin on his face.

"Let's get cooking, good looking."

~TLS~

Apparently, I must be what's cooking because in this heat, standing over my damn stove, I'm almost done to perfection. I've been stuck in this hot-ass kitchen, feeling like a roasted pig. How the hell did my fun-filled day by the lake turn into me trapped, cooking for four people? By now, I should know better than to send Jake to the store to buy anything, especially food. I sent him to get hamburgers and hotdogs; he came back with a rack of ribs, corn on the cob, all the fixings for my potato salad, and bratwurst. I would just say no to him, but he pulls out the puppy dog eyes, and I can't deny him.

It's been two hours, and thankfully Esme came in to help me with the food prep. Now, with the final bowls in hand, we head down to the grill to throw on the ribs, corn, and brats. Once everything is set up, I take in the activities around me. The ladies are lounging on the deck, seemingly sunbathing, even though their skin will never be colored by the sun. The boys are throwing around the football, and I watch as Emmett sends a pass to EJ, and Edward comes and scoops him up and throws him over his shoulder. The interaction between them makes my heart flutter, and I can feel the smile stretch across my face. The sun dances across both of their faces, and the sight is breathtaking.

I tear my eyes away from them because if I linger for too long, I fear my heart will need too much repair. I take the time to start slathering on some sun block. I'm not as lucky as the rest of these people and need to protect myself before I turn into a lobster. I cover as much of my skin as possible before I call Jake over to cover my back, as well.

"You know, burgers and hot dogs would've been just fine, and you would've been perfectly satisfied."

"But then I wouldn't be having your kick-ass potato salad and the sweet barbecue tanginess that is your ribs."

"True, but now you're the ass-hat that had me in a hot kitchen, slaving away, so you can get your taste buds off."

He steps in front of me, with a mischievous look on his face. No good has ever come from that look.

"Well, by all means, let's cool you down, my friend."

The next thing I know, I'm over Jake's shoulder and heading full speed into the water. Once the water is at Jake's waist, he raises me up higher, and I am flying through the air. When I surface, I charge toward him, and we start horsing around and laughing like we have no cares in the world. We start to slow down, and I glide in the water toward my best friend. After I throw my arm around his shoulder, we look at each other with matching goofy grins. It feels good to just be for a little while and be wrapped up in our own little bubble. Still bobbing around, I move and climb onto Jake's back, so he can swim me around. And in the midst of our playfulness - maybe I'm just hearing things - I swear I hear growling coming from the direction of the shore.

**Too much... not enough... let me know.**

**Thnx for reading**

**Beckyd**


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